I recently was invited to attend a day long Ceremony into the Alchemy of Grief with her beloved, Praise.
Interestingly enough, for the last few weeks, I had been experiencing the deep ache of grief deep in my chest- as though old and ancient. So, when the day came to attend- my mind expressed hesitation and resistance (“I don’t need to go and deal with grief” ) but my body led the way.
I arrive at the event. I take in my surroundings.
This is a heavy and intimate topic- so I want to ensure I feel safe (well, my body does- and I respect that!)
Out of 25 of us, I know 2- one of which is the facilitator- and yet I feel calm and relaxed- and ready to awaken the unknown grief that resides deep in my chest.
From the moment sacred space is open and we dive into the systemic constellations- we are united in the flow of the morphogenic field, the infinite unseen realms of healing and interconnected potential.
To be witness and participant to these constellation sessions was awe-some.
The reminder that we are all connected. We are One.
As we attune to the “issues/ wounds” of another in this energetic playing field, we too experience the resonance of these wounds to some degree (more so if you carry/ share the same wound).
In this case, I was the constellation for one of the participants (just to let you know that most of us didn’t know each other- our first introductions were on this day).
The individual who was receiving the constellation invited me to represent her.
From the moment I accepted and took my place within the circle, I became the energetic expression in physical form, a representation of what was connected to her issue.
I was her.
I felt her pain physical and emotional.
I was expressing a time, an age, a memory, a moment in time.
The participant witnesses and experiences from an outside perspective.
The facilitator invites her to tune in as information is gathered from what is being shared and “played out” by those who are given a certain role in her unique family constellation.
In all of its perfection, the themes of what this unique constellation was lighting up for the participant, were also themes that I had experienced in my own childhood.
No accident in her choosing me to represent her. Stars aligned.
As she healed, I healed.
As the Constellation comes to a close, the story that has unfolded finds resolution for all the “family Members” involved.
A change in the story, transforms the wounds into Medicine for All- through all time and space.
Past. Present. Future.
What I was reminded of throughout this day, was that in our experiencing, witnessing and shared vulnerability we were creating in coherence, a container to hold each other, the circle, the constellations, and the field with gentle strength, tenderness and ease.
Grief is not alone.
We are not solitary beings, nor are we meant to experience grief in isolation.
In this circle of strangers, each of us brings our individual experiences of loss.
Collectively we become one in being with grief- in all of it’s shades of grey and gloom, of sorrow and pain.
And yet, at the same time these dark clouds that reside above our head, or the sharp stab that cuts through the heart, the rage that burns our throat, or the numbness that permeates our core, we are always welcomed into the living embrace of beloved Praise.
The medicines of darkness are the gifts of light.
That even in our darkest moments, when we come together to grieve, we open the portal to our shared humanness and the burdens we carry become a little lighter.
We find strength in Community. Sanctuary in Belonging
In grief we come together in our last act of love.
United in death, we begin to heal.
We reminisce through shared stories and anecdotes that keep us tethered to the beauty, joy, and love that was once alive.
“In Living we die. In dying we live.”
Ted Dekker
There cannot be one without the other.
Only when we accept death (in all forms) can we truly live.
And in this paradox lives Praise.
One cannot exist without the other.
To grieve, means we have loved.
In this knowing, we find the beauty.
You are love… have loved…have been loved…and will continue to love as long as you are alive.
“If we do not grieve what we miss, we are not praising what we love. We are not praising the life we have been given in order to love. If we do not praise whom we miss, we are ourselves in some way dead. So grief and praise make us alive.“
Martin Prechtel
This is praise- that in the depths of our grief, we can hold hands, wrap our arms around all that our loss has gifted us- and that to be here in this way, means that we are still alive.
There is light at the end of every tunnel.
Love is the way.
